So... not the best day.

The day started out well. Traffic was light on my way to the doctors appointment. Had an extra hour afterwards before I had to head back to work. That meant time to read, have a croissant and a bowl of hot chocolate. Then it went kinda down hill from there.

I went back to work and had a busy afternoon ahead of me. I left my phone in the office. I think it is tacky when my doctor answers their phone if I am the patient so I did the same. In hindsight, I should have just kept it with me.

My doctor made her post appointment call and my husband who has been super supportive and great during this whole process picked up the phone. He frantically wrote down everything the doctor said but while on the phone didn't process what he was told and therefore didn't ask any questions.

Running late for my next patient who was patiently waiting for me, I was able to speak with the nurse who told me that I needed to get more medication but since the Thanksgiving Holiday is right in the middle of IVF stimulation, I had a day in which nothing could be delivered so I had to order it today to be sure to get it in time or tomorrow at the latest but not all pharmacies would deliver it on time. Did I mention it was 4:30 PST? But I wasn't aware that the doctor had called. My husband told me later otherwise I would have asked the nurse my questions I had.

My husband wrote down that the doctor said I wasn't responding well with my 5/6 small follicles (5-6mm) on day 5 of stimulation. He wrote down that we will try doubling my dose of Menipur. He wrote down that we will see what happens in 3 days. He wrote down that we might need to cancel the IVF cycle.

He might not have had questions but I sure did. Was 5 or 6 follicles even enough? Should we just stop now and save ourselves the meds that will be used for the next few days. By the way, nothing is covered by insurance no meds no treatment so I am digging myself into a larger hole by the minute with an unforseeable opening from whence I came. I have to think about these things.

Could we downgrade to an IUI? I am pretty sure that answer is a NO but I wanted to know if that was on the table. They said because of my size, 2 at a time would be tricky and 3 would be a no no. I am pretty sure they would severely frown at 5.

Also my Right ovary was not to be seen anywhere and believe you me, we looked. I am pretty sure we should have seen it by the way the nurse was searching for it. We saw everything else.

I emailed my doctor twice tonight like a lunatic and am waiting. However, there is a silver lining on this pile of crap. I am not feeling that sinking sensation, nor have gone into a mental free fall with my horrble circular thought process. I think I have my anxiety/depression (which I self diagnosed) in check. Well, I am still nervous it might pop up again but at least today it is not reared its scary head.

So, it is 9pm and time for my shots with a twist.