Tomorrow is the first ultrasound after I started the medication injections. I am kind of excited to see what this medication has been doing to me. I haven't had too many side effects mild headache and mild bloating (I can pin it on this now instead of just munching on snacks) but no crazies setting in. I do have some proof that I have been injecting myself since I have little healing puncture wounds on my stomach and one bruise. I am not sure how I managed that. I think I was too excited and just started injecting where the wind took me. I should have been more methodical about it... right to left then start over at the most right spot. Now it is just a big mess. I was going to say I will do better next time but in all reality it would be best if there wasn't a next time and it worked this time.
I feel like I am in a good place mentally. I feel cautiously optimistic. Of course I say that now and the minute I get bad news I am probably going to throw up. But I feel like I am commited to this cause for the long haul so if this doesn't work we will take a mini break and get back on the horse.
But before any of that happens I have to go through day by day. My "right now" concern is that I hope this medication is working. I have a fear it is not working or maybe doing the wrong thing but all will be answered tomorrow. I just have to get through tonight. No need to worry about the future.
I was watching a documentary on PBS about a man who lived with turkeys (that sounded crazy when I was reading it) and he said something that hit the spot. "Don't betray the moment for some abstraction up ahead."
It was just what I needed to hear but I hope I listened as well.
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